THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE

Wow! It's true my parents are the light of my life. Now that I'm 47 I have appreciated more the things and the sacrifices my parents did for me and my siblings. It's true they are not both perfect but my parents( nanay and tatay) tried their best and not just their best but all of their best. As I look out of the window today admiring my plants at the wall where I placed them and the colors of the leaves and and the mixture of different variety of plants gives me too much joy and always make me smile I suddenly remember my loving parents how they have worked hard and have to sacrifice big and little things that each one of them liked so that in the future they can give me and my siblings better life and I can't helped wondering if my best was enough for my two daughters ,I feel sad knowing and realizing that all the best I gave to my girls are not even close to what my parents gave me. In terms of material things, and security and honor . I feel that I have not given them at that time and until now , all these even if I say it was all my best. But there is one thing that I'm one hundred percent sure I gave them before and until now and until I die and that is my devotion as a mother and my undying love for my daughters.

Tatay and Nanay and my siblings have been so supportive of me not just in my childhood times ,but also in my teen age years and most of all my married life , most of all my parents were there for me when I really needed them most, when my life turned into the wrong road, they were there to pick me up dust me and hold both my hands when I fell to the ground and they both held my hands and taught me again to walk and start again and hand in hand together with them I was able to survive the storms in my life , it was just like on my wedding day when they walked side by side with me to the altar and handing me over to my husband but this time they walked side by side with me never letting go of my hands and didn't hand me over to anyone but they just walk with me to the road of recovery .They are truly the light of my life. How i wish i can do more to them not to repay them for being a parents and for the helped and support but just simply because I LOVE THEM BOTH WITH ALL MY HEART and vow to respect them for the rest of my life because I could never repay them .Now that I'm a parent I realize many things and I hope too that my readers will start to look back and examine their hearts and start appreciating their parents because I know there were questions before about our parents that only now we can answer and understand , somethings that we think it was wrong but today it is not anymore because we benefit from that.

If I write it down the material things , the help, the support all the things my parents did to me and also I will write down what I did for them ,and have given them , truly even now I'm too ashamed to admit I have not done even half of what they have done and given to me.They are parents they don't do this because they expect a pay back in the future, everything they have given to us is a preparation not for them but for us when we become parents also. To my readers also don't forget to list down also the little things that they have done and asked ourselves these little things did I do this for them? And you will be surprised that there are little things you overlook and have not done to them. They are not perfect, only God is perfect they also too were daughters and sons during their times and when they said don't do this and don't do that it's because they want to improve what they were not before and hoping that we will have a good shot in life .So while you can still say your appreciation to your parents hurry ! hurry! hurry don't waste your time and don't wait, do it now or it will be too late to make them feel the love they deserved from their children. They are the light of my life but it's up to each one of us also to continue that light to burn and pass it on to our children and when YOU HAVE GOD BECAUSE HE IS LOVE THEN NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. TO MY PARENTS NANAY AND TATAY I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND I VOW TO RESPECT YOU AND LOVE YOU ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE.

My Childhood Days

Looking back and remembering my childhood years now fills me with mixed emotions. Rewinding slowly is like watching an invisible television show of yourself, questions before that only now you can answer and always " THE WHY" and the "I COULD HAVE DONE THESE AND THAT". As a person grow older , the more she tends to look back and the more she examines carefully what was her past and the present and only the present holds the key to the future always with God in your heart, they say that it's better to move forward, I don't disagree with this but it's always good to look back then moving forward will be much easier and more effective whether your past childhood is a happy one , or tragic one, or painful. Still it remains that to look back is not to linger with the emotions of the past but to help you achieved to better yourself and for you to be able to correct and to mend anything that holds you back in becoming a happy person and to love other people than yourself. Family plays a very important role in my life , there are moments in my past that I did not understand my other family members way of handling me when I was a child and only now I know the perfect answer to that and realizing that love was there when they did that to me as a child.

What was I like as a child? hmmmmm!!!! since I'm the youngest of four , the eldest being a girl and next my only brother and the next is a girl, you can say I'm the baby to my nanay ( mother) I always believed this until now. My siblings always and even now claimed that I'm the favorite of my mother, maybe they think that because during the leisure time of my parents I'm the entertainer he! he! he! As far as I can remember I really love dancing so much,and my parents and my relatives always make me dance during celebrations and I was always the entertainer and every time I see a mirror if I remember it right I think I was only 5 years old at that time , the miror was always my first teacher, dancing in front of the mirror and trying to copy the dance steps I have seen from the adults and looking at my facial expression if i look nice with the step I'm trying to learn and if I can't get the step right away i stamp on my feet almost loosing my patience but i never stop until i get it right . So as a child, dancing was always my passion, it gives me too much joy and happiness inside and out. Ever since i was a child each time i hear a music i feel it in my heart and when i dance it's not just merely listening to the music but feeling it inside. My is mother always there to teach me to use my eyes , my smile and my shoulders to make me more graceful. iI have always enjoyed my childhood specially the noontime breaks when our mother tells u to sleep ha! ha ! ha !ha which by the way me and my sister and my cousins never do . After lunch time my mom always have her routine nap in the afternoon and she always make me and my sister sleep with her but we pretend to sleep and when we see she is already in deep sleep we and my other cousin also in there own house also did the same and we meet outside in front of our house and there we start our afternoon play which is eating and chewing gum until the sweetness are all gone and ready to be use as a paste to catch dragon flies. We have to stand still in front of the narrow canal and use a long stick to and stick the gum in it and wait without making any body movement under the heat of the sun and wait for the dragon flies to stick to the gum and when the clock stirkes 4, a bell would sound and we run upstairs and lie down pretending to sleep and yawn as if we just woke up and my mother will always ask why both of u smell like we were under the sun for hours ? ha! ha! ha! and you know what she never caught us ha! ha! ha! But when we became teenagers we told her and she just laughed.