HOME ALONE

Few days back suffering with fever and alone at home for the first time, I was so sentimental, I even cried, maybe this is what you feel when your at this age of 48, loneliness visit you once in a while because you miss your daughters , and being alone with no one to talk sometimes just make you down at times. I admit I'm not one of those person who wants to be alone, my childhood was sorrounded with love ones , even when i got married and even when the first married was not successful still i was not alone becuase my girls was with me all the time

MY john was not there also that time coz he has to travel back to his hometown for important family meetings, and my house help was not also around so i was really alone as in alone ha ha ha and boy! it was also an experinece in my part and my one and only neighbor who is my landlady also in the afternoon went out to see his son so my only sole companion at that time was scooby the white dog and kebol the brown dog. I just went inside and close the door and lack my bedroom door. during dinner time i just went out to the kitchen and fixed myself something to eat , the rice was already cooked morning time , but I have prepare my dinner, and prepared a tray and just went back to my room where I ate my dinner, after that i just cried because now I really felt what my parents have gone through, alone and no childrenn there to take care of them personally, Its really a shame in my part no to be there for them.

At times like this when you are alone you wish you are back home in the loving arms of your parents.I keep wondering what will i do if my parents or one of them needed care like when they are not feeling well, each time i think of that tears roll down my check, how i wanted to go back to my hometown and just live in my house again, for how many years I have been away from home for many years and truthfully a part of me wanted to live there for my parents so that when they need assistance in the future I will be there like what they have done to me in the past but i'm turn between two worlds , my new world with my family and my old world with my parents, It's a complicated situation maybe i will just need to be there at one time and be here also at other times . But definitely i want to live in my house again i don't know when and how only God knows what my destiny and my mission is in this world. Ant today my being alone for the first time ,john was not here, chay is working, Melody is in america with her family, and even my cook elgen is not here you tend to be so helpless and so sad and I wonder how other people are able to liked their situation. I do agree that life is too short to spend it alone.

So i said to myself john never and never again will you travel again and living me alone ,even the internet cannot replace the loneliness I felt being alone, well next time I will make sure no one is traveling again and leaving me behind by myself